The Art of Making Dummies

by Pighead

Back in October 2007, me and my good friend came up with a brilliant idea. We got some old clothes and put together a dummy. We used a bag full of trash for the body, and stuffed some old jeans with some other clothes. We put a hoody over the body and stuffed the arms. Then we attached some old shoes, which makes it look so realistic. Last, we stuffed a plastic shopping bag with some paper and put in the hood for a head.

When we were done building it, we had our dummy ready to go. We were at my friends house, who lives on a busy street with a stop sign in front of his house. We grabbed the dummy (later to be named Bob) and laid him in front of the stop sign. He was face down with one hand under his face and one under his stomach. We ran to the side of his house and waited, with my police scanner in hand. Within a couple of minutes, the first idiot stopped in front of the dummy.

They got out of their car, asking "are you alright? do you need help? holy shit man I'm callin 911!" Frantically they got on their phone and called 911. They were explaining how it looked like someone got hit by a car and was dead and how they were too scared to touch it. Within a minute, I heard the police dispatcher say how an ambulance was on its way for a pedestrian MVA (motor vehicle accident) at that location. The cops came within another 2 minutes, with their lights flashing. They went up to the dummy, and found out it was just a dummy. They called off the ambulance and took it to the station. Me and my friend laughed our asses off.

We did it again a few weeks later. Basically the same situation. On the third dummy, the cops started to call it Bob over the radio. On our fourth dummy, we got really creative. We made a wooden skeleton for the dummy. It had solid arms and legs and a back bone that could move. We wrapped shitty clothes around it that we stole from a goodwill box. Then we put some shoes on it, a pair of pants, a hoody, and attached this round Halloween pumpkin thing as the head. We even put gloves on to give it hands.

We laid it out in the street, and the first idiot to drive by found it and called 911. The cops came, and over the radio laughed and said "OK I got Bob, wow they did a good job on this one!" It was so funny. On the next Bob, we typed a note to the police. Thank god we didn't call them pigs or anything. We just said something like "dear police, this is bob. can i have my bodies back? Just kidding. we know you're bored and this gives you something to do at night. these people that call 911 are so dumb and scared hahahaha!"

We kept doing the dummies in the same spot about 5 or 6 more times until the other night. Then it happened. A neighbor saw us and told the cops. We were inside luckily, but the cops pulled in the driveway and started pounding on the door and ringing the doorbell. We just stayed in the house and acted like no one was home. They said over the scanner then that they would just come back the next day.

The next day I guess the cops ripped the dummy apart looking for clues. Somehow a receipt with my mom's name on it got in there. They came to my house but I was at work until 12 that night. So they told my parents to have me go see them that night. I was scared out of my mind telling myself I screwed up and shouldn't have done that.

I get to the police station and sit down with the cop. He thought it was funny!! We were laughing about it and basically he said that I can't do it any more and he knows me and my friend had been doing it. He brought my friend in too, and we had to sign statements saying it won't happen again. I was so relieved that we didn't get in trouble and that he thought it was funny. We all laughed about it and will never screw with them again.